Newlyweds get all kinds of advice, I suppose it’s because we have so much to learn. It’s a whole new world out there; learning how to be a partner, how to cohabitate and how to guard your marriage. Well, truthfully, that guarded part comes pretty naturally to me. It’s a bitter sweet quality really; a mode of self protection but when you’re guarded trust doesn't come easy and that's not so sweet.
The Lord so kindly reminded me of this at the Clemson vs. Florida State game last year. It was slated to be the ‘biggest game in ACC history’ so the normal volume of Death Valley was actually deafening in the first few minutes of the game. We did the hurry-up-and-wait hustle to our seats, anticipating the most exciting 25 seconds of college football…ever. Most of you likely remember the disappointment that came just a few hours later, but that’s not what I remember. Even before the hill, the rock, & the roar we realized we were seated between two parties {two drunk, annoying, inconsiderate parties}. The guys in front of us only brought one bottle of liquor and found it perfectly convenient to pass it over and around us as often as they would like to share with the girls behind us. Then the canon, balloons, eruption; the energy level was astonishing! So much so that I saw Robert out of the corner of my eye leaned back, {flirtatiously} hollering something to the drunk college girls behind us.
I think when people advise things like ‘guard your marriage’ they worry that a couple will be too trusting, step too close to the slippery slope and want to warn against it. I swear the stadium went silent around me. I was ready to throw drunk college girl right off the slippery slope. But then, I chose to trust my husband; my blood went from boiling to a simmer. I waited, I watched, I tried to care about football.
About a decade {it was actually about 15 minutes} later the girls got up and headed out, maybe to the bathroom. Robert leaned over and asked if I heard what 'that girl' behind him said. I said I didn’t and he explained that he guessed she got real excited, grabbed him by the ponytail pulling him back and yelled, “I love your hair!” Robert turned around and said, “I can appreciate that you’re excited but don’t ever touch me again. And you need to quit fooling around with your friends in front of us; it’s rude.“ When he turned back around he heard her say soberly to her friend “I can’t believe I touched that guy’s hair” and her friend said she couldn’t either. The guys didn’t pass the bottle back after the game started. We didn’t hear a peep out of Drunk-ity Drunk Drunk the rest of the game.
It's a strange thing to learn that what you think you just saw, you didn't see at all. Our observations are only half the story. Even when we're not in a hearing impaired environment, I believe that still holds true. To have the whole truth, you have to have a discussion; this is a hard lesson for someone who has based the majority of her life lessons on observation and human interaction, oh and over-analyzation {of course}. When the obvious next step is to jump to conclusion I have to be still, breathe, and ask. That's what I've learned as a newlywed.
Clemson suffered a horrendous defeat that night but our marriage won a terrific victory. For some reason when people say ‘guard your marriage’ I hear, “Erin, guard the marriage” and I completely forget that my husband’s guarding it too. It’s amazing to realize that we are equally yoked with this responsibility and it’s incredible to recognize the burden is light when shared between us.
Don’t just guard your marriage, choose to trust your spouse…you are partners after all.
PS. Go Tigers!
The Lord so kindly reminded me of this at the Clemson vs. Florida State game last year. It was slated to be the ‘biggest game in ACC history’ so the normal volume of Death Valley was actually deafening in the first few minutes of the game. We did the hurry-up-and-wait hustle to our seats, anticipating the most exciting 25 seconds of college football…ever. Most of you likely remember the disappointment that came just a few hours later, but that’s not what I remember. Even before the hill, the rock, & the roar we realized we were seated between two parties {two drunk, annoying, inconsiderate parties}. The guys in front of us only brought one bottle of liquor and found it perfectly convenient to pass it over and around us as often as they would like to share with the girls behind us. Then the canon, balloons, eruption; the energy level was astonishing! So much so that I saw Robert out of the corner of my eye leaned back, {flirtatiously} hollering something to the drunk college girls behind us.
I think when people advise things like ‘guard your marriage’ they worry that a couple will be too trusting, step too close to the slippery slope and want to warn against it. I swear the stadium went silent around me. I was ready to throw drunk college girl right off the slippery slope. But then, I chose to trust my husband; my blood went from boiling to a simmer. I waited, I watched, I tried to care about football.
About a decade {it was actually about 15 minutes} later the girls got up and headed out, maybe to the bathroom. Robert leaned over and asked if I heard what 'that girl' behind him said. I said I didn’t and he explained that he guessed she got real excited, grabbed him by the ponytail pulling him back and yelled, “I love your hair!” Robert turned around and said, “I can appreciate that you’re excited but don’t ever touch me again. And you need to quit fooling around with your friends in front of us; it’s rude.“ When he turned back around he heard her say soberly to her friend “I can’t believe I touched that guy’s hair” and her friend said she couldn’t either. The guys didn’t pass the bottle back after the game started. We didn’t hear a peep out of Drunk-ity Drunk Drunk the rest of the game.
It's a strange thing to learn that what you think you just saw, you didn't see at all. Our observations are only half the story. Even when we're not in a hearing impaired environment, I believe that still holds true. To have the whole truth, you have to have a discussion; this is a hard lesson for someone who has based the majority of her life lessons on observation and human interaction, oh and over-analyzation {of course}. When the obvious next step is to jump to conclusion I have to be still, breathe, and ask. That's what I've learned as a newlywed.
Clemson suffered a horrendous defeat that night but our marriage won a terrific victory. For some reason when people say ‘guard your marriage’ I hear, “Erin, guard the marriage” and I completely forget that my husband’s guarding it too. It’s amazing to realize that we are equally yoked with this responsibility and it’s incredible to recognize the burden is light when shared between us.
Don’t just guard your marriage, choose to trust your spouse…you are partners after all.
PS. Go Tigers!
RSS Feed
